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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Mar 9 2009, 6:05 PM EDT (current) | JaneRokes | 89 words added |
| Feb 8 2009, 8:24 PM EST | JaneRokes | 29 words added |
Changes
Key: Additions Deletions
How soon should I begin to plan my wedding ceremony?
It frankly depends on the couple. If you feel strongly about attention to detail and are very organized, perhaps you'll need less time to plan. If you like to take your time and chip away at a project, then obviously you'll need at least 6 mos to plan your ceremony.
I don't waste any time putting together a ceremony once I get the green light from a couple.
Would you recommend holding a formal rehearsal?
It depends on the venue and the length of the ceremony. If you have a large bridal party then it makes sense to gather the day or evening before your ceremony to make sure that every one involved knows their positions and knows the elements of the ceremony. I never do an entire read through, because it's important to maintain an element of anticipation for everyone involved. I will, however, make sure that the best man and maid of honor know what their roles are going to be with rings, flowers, etc. My aim is to lessen the angst a bride and groom feel as their big day approaches and if a rehearsal is wanted, then I try to be available.
Have you ever served more as a reader than a writer?
Most definitely and I've enjoyed myself immensely, because I know there are times when a bride and groom know what their ceremony is going to consist of and they don't need my guidance to write the ceremony for them.
How long do most ceremonies last?
I write a ceremony that generally lasts between 15 and 20 minutes and that length has never failed to be perfect!
It's not anti-climatic because it's too short and people don't get bored because it's too long.
What elements are in a wedding ceremony?
An Introduction/Greeting is always the way I begin a ceremony. It's the time I choose to thank those assembled for serving as witnesses. A piece of music is always wonderful after the Introduction. I can literally see audience members sit up straighter in their seats and pay closer attention when a piece of music is being performed. It adds a certain reverence. A reading is nice too if music is not something you would choose to have in your ceremony. I encourage my couples to choose a reading that is not boilerplate, because so much of the time, the same readings are heard at weddings. I have read passages from literature that resonate for my couples and those readings make the ceremonies I officiate at, more meaningful. Next would be vows, either reciprocal or written by the bride and groom and then ring vows. Before the closing, I encourage another element which the bride and groom chooses that would perhaps commemorate parents for their love and support, or acknowledge the absence of a loved one who could not be present. Then we would close and I would pronounce the couple officially married.
Am I comfortable performing a religious ceremony?
Most definitely. I have performed vow renewals that are very religious, because some couples feel strongly that their renewal ceremony should mirror their original ceremony. I am not ordained, but I grew up in the church, so my level of comfort is never compromised when I am asked to bring religion into a ceremony. I do not wear a robe, because I am not ordained and I do not wish to pretend that I should be cloaked as a Minister or Pastor. I am spiritual, however, and love investigating ways to promote spirituality in a wedding ceremony.
Even though you're a Justice of the Peace for the State of NH, can you perform ceremonies in Massachusetts?
Yes and I have officiated in Holyoke, Cohasset, Newburyport and Topsfield. This year will find me in Wellsley and Templeton, Mass. There is a one page waiver that allows me to officiate in Massachusetts and I can fax that from my office 6 weeks before the ceremony.
Would you entertain different venues, that are non-traditional?
Yes. I am happy to listen to any bride and groom's suggestion for a venue.
It frankly depends on the couple. If you feel strongly about attention to detail and are very organized, perhaps you'll need less time to plan. If you like to take your time and chip away at a project, then obviously you'll need at least 6 mos to plan your ceremony.
I don't waste any time putting together a ceremony once I get the green light from a couple.
Would you recommend holding a formal rehearsal?
It depends on the venue and the length of the ceremony. If you have a large bridal party then it makes sense to gather the day or evening before your ceremony to make sure that every one involved knows their positions and knows the elements of the ceremony. I never do an entire read through, because it's important to maintain an element of anticipation for everyone involved. I will, however, make sure that the best man and maid of honor know what their roles are going to be with rings, flowers, etc. My aim is to lessen the angst a bride and groom feel as their big day approaches and if a rehearsal is wanted, then I try to be available.
Have you ever served more as a reader than a writer?
Most definitely and I've enjoyed myself immensely, because I know there are times when a bride and groom know what their ceremony is going to consist of and they don't need my guidance to write the ceremony for them.
How long do most ceremonies last?
I write a ceremony that generally lasts between 15 and 20 minutes and that length has never failed to be perfect!
It's not anti-climatic because it's too short and people don't get bored because it's too long.
What elements are in a wedding ceremony?
An Introduction/Greeting is always the way I begin a ceremony. It's the time I choose to thank those assembled for serving as witnesses. A piece of music is always wonderful after the Introduction. I can literally see audience members sit up straighter in their seats and pay closer attention when a piece of music is being performed. It adds a certain reverence. A reading is nice too if music is not something you would choose to have in your ceremony. I encourage my couples to choose a reading that is not boilerplate, because so much of the time, the same readings are heard at weddings. I have read passages from literature that resonate for my couples and those readings make the ceremonies I officiate at, more meaningful. Next would be vows, either reciprocal or written by the bride and groom and then ring vows. Before the closing, I encourage another element which the bride and groom chooses that would perhaps commemorate parents for their love and support, or acknowledge the absence of a loved one who could not be present. Then we would close and I would pronounce the couple officially married.
Am I comfortable performing a religious ceremony?
Most definitely. I have performed vow renewals that are very religious, because some couples feel strongly that their renewal ceremony should mirror their original ceremony. I am not ordained, but I grew up in the church, so my level of comfort is never compromised when I am asked to bring religion into a ceremony. I do not wear a robe, because I am not ordained and I do not wish to pretend that I should be cloaked as a Minister or Pastor. I am spiritual, however, and love investigating ways to promote spirituality in a wedding ceremony.
Even though you're a Justice of the Peace for the State of NH, can you perform ceremonies in Massachusetts?
Yes and I have officiated in Holyoke, Cohasset, Newburyport and Topsfield. This year will find me in Wellsley and Templeton, Mass. There is a one page waiver that allows me to officiate in Massachusetts and I can fax that from my office 6 weeks before the ceremony.
Would you entertain different venues, that are non-traditional?
Yes. I am happy to listen to any bride and groom's suggestion for a venue.
